Sunday 28 June 2015

The kindness of strangers

Ever think about how many strangers you come into contact with in a day?  How many people's lives you affect or even alter every week?  Be it the car you let out in front of you when driving, the cashier that serves you in the supermarket, or helps you find your groceries, the staff in a restaurants who seat you and serve you, the person on the other end of the phone when you call a helpline, or just the dog walker that you say hi to when out walking your own dog.  All these lives that cross paths and you never consider the effect that it could be having upon your own life, or theirs for that matter. 
That car that you let out in front of you is now not as late for work as they thought they were, the cashier that you smiled at and made light hearted conversation with isn't as bored as they were five minutes ago, the waiter or waitress that you said thank you to has a smile on their face where they hadn't before, and the person on the other end of the phone could be more satisfied that they have made a difference to a customer, or thoroughly peeved off at the way they had been spoken to when a problem wasn't their fault.  It's all about the way we choose to handle a situation that is presented to us.  

Having been stood on the till at the Co-op for five hours today, being 'that stranger' that every customer has come into contact with in order to do their shopping it has made me think.  My first thought was where do you draw the line on what a stranger actually is?  I mean, there are many regular customers as work, I see them several times a week, some I even see on a daily basis if I am working that regularly.  But that doesn't make them any less of a stranger does it?  I know what cars some of them drive, I know what brand of cigarettes others smoke, or what their drink of choice is; I even know what tattoos some of them have as I am often drawn to the ink, but I don't even know many of their names.  
So, to begin my analysis, I started with  dictionary definition:
The Free Dictionary claims that a stranger is 'Any person whom one does not know.'  (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/stranger)
But again, to what extent does 'not knowing' someone class as?  Like I said, I know several things about some of the regular customers, but that doesn't mean that I know them.
I could go around in circles forever.  For the purpose of a continued discussion, I decided that they probably did count as strangers, just as I count as a stranger to them.  Yes, they know my name because I wear a name badge at work, but they don't know anything else about me.  

So, going back to how a stranger can affect you.  As far as the customers are concerned, I can affect their experience of shopping with the Co-op.  It's in all our handbooks and training, that the customers experience at the till will effect their entire experience in store.  If the cashier is polite, smiling and helpful, the customer is going to leave much happier than if they are ignored by the cashier, their shopping handled in a way that damages either the food or the packaging, or they are rude.  And the same goes the other way around, a customer's attitude towards me when I am serving can leave me feeling happy that I had another happy customer, or it can leave me in a foul mood.  For example, my personal pet hate when I am on the till is when a customer expects you to know what they want, I am no mind reader... I see hundreds of customers in a day, I am not expected to remember every face, remember which pump they have put petrol in at, or what they are handing me money for.  To me, that is rude and unnecessary, and it is just as bad when they are on the phone too, personally, when I get to a till and I am on the phone, I ask whoever I am speaking too, to hold on while I sort out my shopping.  So there is just one example of strangers effecting each other's moods.

How about looking at another way, how about actually doing something for a stranger that really changes something for them.  For example, the letting someone out of a road end onto a busy main road.  I do it, I let cars out of my estate onto the main road if I am returning home.  I will be the first to admit that I am not the greatest driver for letting cars in to the traffic, but I am lenient where familiar roads are concerned.  Like the end of my street; I know what it can be like sitting there waiting for a gap in the traffic, so when I am the traffic, I do tend to let others in, and I do the same in other areas too.  But what effect does this have on the person driving the car that I let in?  Having once been sat in the traffic at the end of Aston Back Lane waiting to turn right towards Gulthwaite Hill, and being there nearly fifteen minutes because it was rush hour traffic, I know that if the cars on the main road had let more of the cars out that were waiting, I wouldn't have been late for work that day.  It is that simple.  
Good deeds, things like letting someone in front of you in a queue because they only have one thing and you have a basket full, offering to help someone who looks like they are struggling, helping someone who is injured.  All of these things are things that you do not have to do, but you make the world a little better each time you do.  And I know from experience, both as the one who has been on the receiving end of someone else's good deed, or from the things that I have done for others, that it does make you feel better.  As the person who has done the good deed, it does make you feel good, like you have helped someone else that would have other wise struggled, and as the one who was helped, it leaves you feeing like there is some good left in the world.

I think I am just about done rambling for now, it was just one of those things that I couldn't help but think about whilst at work today, and it really got me thinking about the lives we effect.

So next time you are in a position to change something, and remember even something as simple as a smile can change someone else's mood, it could be the nicest thing that someone has done for them all day.  Think about it, and give it a try!

Louby x

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